Deep Sea
by Assburgers
Summary: She believed that love was sacrifice; and if love demanded that an entire world be sacrificed for its sake, then so be it. She would protect her family at all costs. [Gray!SI/OC]
1. The Reincarnation

The Reincarnation

Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters belong to Kishimoto-dono-sama-sensei-san-senpai-kun.

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><p><em><strong>sagiso<strong> on its surface, **higanbana** in its depths; a **shinkai** of sinners drowning in war_

_let **love** reign, though hell may rise; let **justice** be done, though heavens may fall_

**12**

He gently caressed the sore eyelid that covered up the hole where his right eye was supposed to be.

"Why?" he rasped out.

She gave him an expression that he did not like, an expression that he could not decipher – somewhere between pain and guilt, or perhaps a cross of self-hate and disappointment. It was everything he had always felt. It was everything he had never expected her to have. So why, of all times, of all things...

"Because I love you."

It was almost a whisper, like it physically hurt her to say it. As he recalled her past actions, his face slowly shifted from one of shock, dismay and disbelief into one of ruefulness. Just the fact that he had questioned her motives had wounded her. He should have known. How could he be so blind?

"You don't have to do this," he choked out, fists clenched. "You shouldn't be doing this."

She nodded, sullen gaze drifting to her blood-stained hands. "_They_ shouldn't be doing _this_."

He winced. When had she become so accustomed to the abyss that he had tried to protect her from?

**10**

Blood crimson red spider lilies lined the wide stone path up to the door. They surrounded the bed of white egret flowers that _she_ had planted by the raised veranda of the traditional home. The flowers swayed with the gentle breeze of autumn, uncaring of the meanings that they held. He frowned.

The graves, he could understand, but the house?

"They're not for them. They're for me."

He craned his neck to peer at the source of the voice. She stood by the corner in a simple pale blue yukata, a watering can in one hand. He snorted. As if that was supposed to explain anything to him.

"I come back from an assignment to this," he turned to face her, gesturing over to the offending red flowers with a thumb. "So excuse me for being surprised. They're not particularly good omens, hn?"

She tilted her head in the way she always did whenever she was confused. "But they're not for you."

He grimaced at her. "And why are they for you? Are you trying to tell me something here?"

A ghost of a smile laced her lips. "No. Nothing. I just think they're beautiful."

There was such a thing as tact, but she did not seem to have any of it.

**8**

"Are you gonna be alright being alone?"

He picked up the rolled omelette from the pan with a pair of chospsticks, dropping it to his own plate. Depositing the used cooking tools in the basin of the kitchen, he turned back to the table.

She had not touched her food yet. "I won't be alone. I'll have Sasu-bo with me."

He took a seat opposite her. "Yeah, but you're babysitting him. And you're eight."

"I'll be fine," she firmly said, to which her older sibling scoffed incredulously in reply.

She waited until he started digging in to start with her own meal, now not quite so warm anymore. "If you keep being a worrywart like this," she said in a pause between bites. "I'll eat all the mo—"

"Hey!" he whined childishly. "Don't hold Mikoto-sama's delicious mochi daifuku against me!"

"But you keep asking every time I do anything," she mumbled. "Don't worry. It'll be fine."

A flash of pain slipped by him and emerged on his face. He wondered if she knew what she had done. His scars had yet to close – and she had just forcibly reopened the largest one of them all.

"How can I not be worried about you?" he asked, the hurt he had felt already masked under the normal layer of nonchalance. "You're a walking trouble-magnet. Even Ita-koi said so, and that's something."

She paused. "How is he, anyway?"

He gave her a sleazy grin. "Oh, your crush is fine, princess."

"I don't have a crush on anyone," she flatly stated. "And besides, aren't you two gay for each other?"

He sputtered. "For the last time—"

**6**

"Happy sixth birthday."

She had not heard his footsteps crunch the snow, but she did not need to. The familiar mellow hum of warmth she felt within her core was enough of an indication. She ceased to shiver in her red jacket.

A red umbrella intruded in the periphery of her vision, right above her. She turned to look up at him, only to be presented with a small box, messily wrapped in red wrapping and tied with a blue ribbon.

She took it and placed it onto her lap. "Thank you," she murmured, turning back to face the gates.

He simply stood by her side, holding the umbrella up. She had done this on her birthday the last year as well; sitting on the stone steps leading to the shrine, alone in the cold blankets of winter.

He gently brushed away the snow that had piled on top of her head. "It's getting late, princess."

She did not take her eyes off of the gate in the distance. "Not yet... I still want to remember..."

**4**

He stood between the toddler and his old comrade; to most people present, his stance was relaxed, indicating a level of trust and familiarity. But neither neither men were most people. Not anymore.

"If this is about her," he started, voice a steady bulwark of indifference. "This is not the time—"

"Nor the place. I know."

His eyes narrowed minutely.

"Technically, she's obliged to agree. Considering what transpired in the Valley of Sugitani—"

"Careful," he lowly warned. "None of that has anything to do with her. She's just... unfortunate."

The man walked away. "If you can't be held accountable for your failures, then your daughter will."

With that, the councillor disappeared into the rowdy throngs of festivalgoers. Under the dim orange lights of the lanterns hanging overhead, the messy-haired man clenched and unclenched his jaw in an excruciating exercise to try to ease off the murderous intent building up within him. He sighed. Danzo was right. It was his own fault. But that did not mean someone else had to bear his burden.

Feeling a tiny hand rest on his calf, he looked down and gave the girl by his feet a small smile. He did not doubt for a second that it came out a lot stronger and more positive than what he felt inside. But the man truly appreciated her silence, even though he knew she never bought his lies.

**2**

He caught her perusing his collection of ancient books and trinkets on a mild spring morning. He watched from the doorway, his chakra signature seamlessly diffused and masked to blend into the surroundings. She seemed to be looking for something in particular, he noted. She looked harried.

Childish curiosity, perhaps. Though there was something in her eyes...

He abandoned that thought. Though children like her were rare, they were not that uncommon of a sight within his clan. Admittedly, she was one of the strangest ones, but she was his all the same.

He slowly approached her. "What are you looking for, sweetheart?"

She stilled, glanced down towards the leather-bound book in her small hands, and held it out to him.

He took it, giving her a sheepish smile. "I just like to collect things. I don't really know... how to..."

A pout formed on her usually neutral face, and he relished in the sight of it. "I'll tell you a bit more about my collection when you're older, okay?" he asked, sorting the books carelessly strewn about the floor back into their rightful places on the cabinet. When he turned back to her, she was gone.

He sighed. He had felt her leave, but had not had the heart to stop her. Why was it always like this?

**0**

A flash – and she was gone from the world. In hindsight, perhaps the tremendous speed at which it had happened was a small mercy, though she had not thought her situation as particularly kind to her in that moment; in fact, she had not been able to think much about anything at all when it took place. The harsh grip of overwhelming pain aside, the shock had caused her mind to fail to register reality.

But as quickly as it had gone, the world faded into view again. An unfamiliar blurred landscape of harsh off-white met her eyes, a rhythmic mechanical beeping echoed like a distant siren in her ears and the air that reeked of a sharp bitterness of something synthetic and sterile wafted into her nose. Of all the plausible afterlives she had expected to see, a cold hospital room had not been one of them.

Then she quickly realised that her body felt far too numb and weak and uncoordinated to be normal. The morbid conclusion that she had survived that incident – with a myriad of permanent scars – left her yearning death. She was not sure if she wanted to live trapped in a rotting sarcophagus of a body.

Shutting her eyes tightly, she breathed deeply to ward off the familiar stinging of tears behind them.

What had she done to deserve this? She had spent her life being neither good nor bad, being smart but not outstanding, being healthy but not athletic, being decent but not beautiful. She had never, ever done anything drastic – and so what if people thought her boring, she liked the peace and quiet!

Which really did make the whole situation amazingly ironic. The universe must have it out for her.

In deep contemplation, she soon became aware of a raw emptiness within her, a dull numbing ache that pulsed in the very core of her being in tandem with the beats of her heart. And there was that strange mellow, tingling sensation flowing through her veins and crawling under her skin th—

A soft gust of distinctly warm air on her face caused her eyes to flutter open. She froze.

Dark pools set upon pale skin, framed by thick, messy waves of black loomed over her.

The man seemed taken aback at first, but the expression on his face soon shifted from mild suprise to something wistful and pained. With a paternal gentleness that was so beyond sincere and with a hint of reluctance, he scooped the girl up and cradled her in his arms, her head resting on his neck.

The girl in question was shocked still as her mind struggled to process this odd situation.

Was she... always this small? Was everyone always this gigantic? _'Spirits, what the hell—'_

Something warm and wet fell onto her face. It took her a moment to realise that the man was crying; his hands trembled and his shoulders shook, and he seemed to be choking back sobs. The girl curled in onto herself, feeling awkwardly out of place. Who was this stranger? Why was he there with her?

He brought her close, nuzzling his nose against her hair in an embrace she had not experienced for a decade; and despite her frayed mind's valiant protests, she could not help but relax and lean into the warmth that this stranger was providing. It seemed like a lifetime ago that she had last felt so safe.

When he finally spoke, the man's voice was a rumbling, deep stream of kindness to her ears.

"Hello, Shinkai," he lovingly said to her. "I'm your father, Kagami. I'm sorry it took so long for us to finally meet. But... it's okay now. You're fine. Just fine. You're here. With us. We'll... g-go... home..."

_'Father? My father's dead, what is he talk—'_

And then she realised it. All the puzzle pieces fit.

Her heart sank. So did the man, who sank to his knees.

"Thank you so much," he whispered. "Thank you for living."

She tried her best. She really did. But she ended up wailing like the infant she was, anyway.

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><p>He remained in that room until his eyes ceased to bleed sorrow and regret, until his precious little girl found her peace again. It had surprised him. She had been so quiet and still at first, then all of a sudden she had burst out into desperate tears. He liked to think that she knew of his pain, somehow.<p>

When Kagami finally found the strength to stand up and step outside the room, he was immediately greeted by the sight of a messy-haired boy seated on a chair, swinging his dangling feet in boredom.

The boy stilled. His gaze flitted to the girl cradled in his father's arms.

"Tou-san," he murmured, sitting up straighter. "Is... Is that her?"

Years of mental conditioning kicked in and Kagami managed a small, fond smile. Closing the gap between them in several paces, he gently dropped to one knee, holding his daughter up to his son.

The boy's eyes widened in wonderment as he ingrained her image into his mind in pensive silence; but when he realised that his new sibling bore far too many similarities to another person, he had to quickly blink away the hot, stinging wetness that threatened to surface and spill from his dark pools.

Upon seeing his son's conflicted expression, Kagami urged, "Go on. Introduce yourself to her."

"Uh," the boy stammered, the tips of his ears already flushed. "Hi. I'm Shisui. Your big brother."

Kagami let out a sincere chuckle. "Now, don't be shy. Why don't you try patting her on the head?"

Shisui seemed to light up as if he had just seen the sun for the first time in years, but soon deflated. "Can I?" he reluctantly asked, concern creasing his visage. "Isn't she fragile? What if I... y'know...?"

"Don't worry," Kagami reassured with a pleasant smile. "It'll be fine."

Shisui hesitated, but dipped his head in understanding nevertheless. Gingerly, the boy reached out to gently rub the crown of his sibling's head; his lips slowly curled into a wide smile when she did not seem to resist his affections. He had to admit – she was a cute little thing that he could boast about.

"Tou-san, is she gonna be a ninja too?"

Kagami arched an eyebrow at the question. He was grim when he replied.

"I don't know. Her chakra is... unique. I don't know if she'll be able to—"

Shisui abruptly pulled back and stilled.

"B-But she's fine, right? She's healthy, right? She's not gonna die or a—"

"Oh, no no! She's fine, Shisui. She's fine. Just fine! She's here. With us."

The boy nodded, and silence took over.

"...Tou-san?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't ever leave us, 'kay?"

"I won't."

"Promise me?"

"Pinky."

"No, swear it on your heart."

Kagami gave a wistful smile. Framing the boy's jaw and cheek with a firm but gentle hand, the man gazed into his eyes and poured every reassurance of love and comfort that he could into the contact.

"I, Uchiha Kagami, vow on my heart to never leave my son Shisui and my daughter Shinkai."

And so with a little finger he traced a cross on his chest and over his heart. Kagami decided that this was the promise of his lifetime; now, not even death itself could ever be an excuse to separate them.

His daughter suddenly burst into tears once more. And just like that, the magic was gone.

Kagami sighed, rocking her. He had a feeling she was going to be a strange child.

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><p>The universe must hate her. No other reason could sufficiently explain why <em>she<em> had died like _that_ and was now like _this;_ and instead of being _there_ she was now _here_ and where was _here_ anyway?

_'Reincarnation. What a kick in the nads.'_

There were theories that purported the existence of infinite dimensions. That every action and every word, every change in every world, no matter how small, caused timelines to split into infinity. She rather liked the idea that somewhere out there, another version of her had become a cat whisperer.

But that was conjecture. This was reality.

She would have to be insane to believe that she had been reborn into a world that was the fictional product of a manga author's imagination, where superhuman flying ninjas ruled the world, murder was a mundane affair and concepts like individual liberty, freedom and peace were suspect at best.

That was impossible. That could never happen_._

'Kagami' and 'Shisui' were live-action roleplayers who were obsessed with Nerudo. It made sense. But thinking back to the hospital, Uchiha Shinkai had to wonder if they were insane, or if she was.

The answer came as a rude awakening, in more ways than one.

The last thing she could remember was being tucked into bed by a thoroughly exhausted Kagami whom she had worked to the bone with her wailing pity-party throughout her first day in her second life. She had half a mind to feel apologetic. But she digressed.

She had woken up to find an armor-clad stranger standing over her crib. The palm he held over her immediately lost its green glow and he flinched at her sudden awakening. In the pale light of the moon that filtered in through the windows, his ceramic falcon mask shone with a ghostly gleam.

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><p><strong>AN:** Should I be sorry that my first story is an SI/OC? Well... here's an apology, just in case.

The first half of this part contains moments of Shinkai's life in a flashback format, going back in time and numbered according to the how old she was in each moment. I apologise for the confusion, but I thought it necessary to establish some of the setting. Many thanks to MerhppDerhpp for the tip.

Reviews are appreciated! ヽ(ﾟдﾟ; ≡ ;ﾟдﾟ)ﾉｼ


	2. Of Rivers In Egypt

Of Rivers In Egypt

Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters belong to Kishimoto-dono-sama-sensei-san-senpai-kun.

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><p>The figure raised his hand. A sliver of pale moonlight glinted off of something sharp and metallic.<p>

The girl so desperately wanted to scream _needed_ to scream but the shuddering trails of fear that had crept up her spine had long since latched onto her throat in a vice grip cutting off her voice from the world and she couldn't _think_ couldn't _breathe_ couldn't _do anything_ and that was when she realised—

She was going to _**die**_.

A spark _—_ and something came to life_._ Something that had lain dormant in her gut as a cold stone of emptiness awakened. She could not describe it as anything other than a hurricane; an energy that swirled and pulsed erratically and violently within the very core of her being, lashing out againt its confines – against _her_ – as it struggled to escape. She had the feeling that it wanted to **kill** that man.

She let go of it.

Suddenly there was light everywhere, a white light tinged with blue. The sound of her heart beating in her ears grew distant and muffled. The image of the world faded and blurred. A cold flush rushed through her veins and flooded her systems. And as numbness swept her away in a distant cacophony of screams that were not her own, she could see only the skies of her old world so pure and blue and

white sparks coursing through her very bones

pulled into a dark void of stars or dreams

and if she reached out she could feel

her soul or something maybe

_oh_

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><p><em>"Every...-right now... here, so... cry, Shisui."<em>

_"Tou-san... she's not... leave us... is she?"_

_"She's fine. Just fine. She's here. With us."_

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><p>Kagami was by her side when she woke up at the hospital in the dead of the night; asleep on a chair, head nodding and limbs shifting every now and then, a sign of the discomfort he felt in his slumber. The girl thought he was too kind for a stranger; but he was not a stranger, was he? In this life, he was her guardian, her genetic contributor, and a passionate live-action roleplaying cosplayer.<p>

Full stop.

She was adamant on not losing her sanity. What had happened that night might as well have been a dream and nothing more – human brains were very good when it came to altering and fabricating memories when under stress, and those memories deteriorated over time as well. She was quite certain that it had been a nightmare that had, at the time, seemed far too realistic for comfort.

Yes. She was certain. She did not believe it. And if she did not believe it, it did not exist. Because hands that glowed green did not exist, masked ninjas were not real and _she_ had not... 'lit up' in a bright light.

Peering over the edge of her crib, Shinkai noted that even in the dim light of the moon and with her limited range of vision, her genetic contributor appeared quite harrowed, the lines on his face much deeper and the shadows far more pronounced than she last remembered. Had he been that worried?

She decided to let him sleep. It did not matter if he was a stranger or not. He was... nice.

When he eventually woke up just as the sun's first rays filtered into the room, it was like their first meeting all over again. He had scooped her up in a gentle yet tight embrace, hiding the hot tears that carved their way down his cheeks in her hair and whispering affectionate words in her ear, words that she knew she could never accept. And when Shisui, asleep on a couch at the other end of the room woke, it became a snuggling, sniffling mess for all of them, an unwilling Shinkai included.

That was how another roleplaying cosplayer found them.

"Thank goodness you're awake. Aren't you just the cutest," cooed the aged man by the doorway. "And I'm talking about your daughter, Kagami, not you."

"Well, look who's here to visit today," Kagami greeted mirthfully, wiping away the nearly dried tear tracks on his face and adjusting his daughter's perch in his arms, as his old friend approached with a sheepish smile. "No work today? Have you trimmed your bonsai? Gotten your hipbones fixed, yet?"

"H-Hokage-sama!" Shisui squeaked out in a greeting. He immediately slammed his hands on his mouth at the unintentionally high-pitched noise that came out. At his slip-up, the boy turned a deep scarlet, but Hiruzen only gave him a benign smile and kindly ruffled his already messy head of hair.

(Shinkai could hardly believe the amount of effort people put into their passion; whoever was acting as the Third Hokage had everything from the clothes, the make-up and the voice down to a science.)

"Always gloating about how young you look at our age," Hiruzen said as he turned to Kagami with an eyebrow raised, voice tinged with humour. "I'll have you know that being Hokage is _much_ more demanding than being a Jounin, however elite you may be, Mr. I'm Too Handsome For Paperwork."

"Already passive-aggressive at this time of day?" asked Kagami. He dramatically flicked his hair with a hand. "Don't hate me for my good looks. Hate yourself for your early onset of baldness."

Hiruzen harrumphed and pointed at the other with his pipe. "Yes, those good looks sure came in handy when Tobirama-sensei made you crossdress and act as a—"

"H-Hokage-sama?" asked a slack-jawed Shisui in disbelief.

Kagami only grinned as if he had won the lottery. "Yeah, and he even said I made for a pretty girl!"

Hiruzen stared. "You have issues and I am concerned for you and your children," he deadpanned.

"Thank you, my friend," Kagami smiled sweetly as he patted the man on the shoulder. "I'm also deeply concerned for the war against death and decay on your head that you're currently losing."

The corners of the Sarutobi's eyes twitched and he frowned at the jab to a sensitive spot. "And it always has to come back to this, doesn't it? Leave it alone, will you."

"You have _issues_ and I am _concerned_ for you and your follicles," Kagami quipped, shrugging nonchalantly. "I mean, the Grumpy Trio still have all of their hair. Hell, Danzo's is still black—"

"As dark as his soul," Hiruzen interjected. "But I'm only thinning—"

Kagami snorted. "_Thinning?_"

Shisui shot his father a horrified look.

"—because of the demands and stresses of_ being the Hokage_," Hiruzen said, pretending he had not heard his friend's jab. "You know, strongest ninja and leader of the village. Minor things like that."

Kagami lightly sighed and shook his head sagely, as if his old comrade was a naive, ignorant child. "Saru, you say that like I should be jealous of your position," he said. "You know I hate paperwork."

"And you know I hate bald jokes, but you still do it every chance you get anyway," Hiruzen grumbled. "Don't underestimate bald people. I'll kick your ass."

"Careful there, Baldkage," Kagami sneered. "Aren't _you_ the one calling yourself bald now?"

Hiruzen paused. An uncomfortable silence hung in the air. Then the Hokage suddenly turned to the girl propped up in Kagami's arms. "Shinkai, was it? You are very cute," he cooed, patting her head.

_'Amazing... he ignored it...,'_ Shinkai thought, slightly awed at the man's ability to shrug off reality.

"She's quiet," Hiruzen noted as he withdrew his hand. "Unlike her older brother."

"H-Hokage-sama...!" Shisui stammered, flushing crimson.

Kagami's brows furrowed. "I've been worried about that, actually. The first morning, she was crying all the time for no reason. When she finally calmed down, it was as if... she didn't really make much noise, if at all. Didn't even pay attention to me. Then that night she—I mean—it's—I don't know—"

"Calm down, Kagami," Hiruzen interjected. "As far as we can tell, there's no mental or physical damage from before she woke up or from the recent incident. We'll simply have to wait and see."

Kagami only wearily sighed.

"So, what exactly triggered the overload?" Hiruzen asked.

Shinkai's attention perked up at this. Was that what happened that... no, no, no. That had been just a dream. Whatever had put her back in the hospital not a day after she had been released had... occured whilst she'd been asleep, and was likely what had caused her nightmare in the first place. Neither Kagami nor Hiruzen seemed to know anything about the supposed masked stranger, after all.

Peering up towards her genetic contributor, the girl hoped for a clue.

Kagami furrowed his brows, mulling over his friend's question. He took a long moment to struggle for words, until he finally shrugged and admitted with a sigh, "I don't know... I just_—_I don't know."

"...It'll be fine," Hiruzen assured, grasping his friend's shoulder firmly.

Kagami looked down to gaze upon his daughter. "I hope she'll be fine."

* * *

><p>Shinkai had been asleep when her guardian had carried her home from the hospital the first time around, but she was sure it had been winter back then. Yes, definitely winter. Definitely not the spring that greeted her this time. Exactly how long had she been out of it? What date was it?<p>

The girl sneezed, and Kagami tightened his hold around her.

"Tou-san, let's go for a walk!" Shisui exclaimed, his small form trailing beside his father. "Shin-chan just got released from the hospital, she must be bored. Oh, and we can get some mochi too!"

Shinkai crinkled her nose in distaste of the nickname that everyone seemed to have assigned to her. It was a boy's name, and it reminded the girl of a certain character in a certain manga who had the habit of mooning people in public spaces. She dearly loved that series, but she was no _Shin-chan_.

Kagami chuckled deeply. "You just want to eat, don't you?"

"W-Well, that's just a side thing..."

"How about we get some on our way, then eat at the park?"

Shisui beamed up at him, and put a skip to his steps at the promise of good food with a nice view. With their orders in hand and at their favourite place to be (apart from home sweet home), the two sat themselves within a shady gazebo as they munched on their assorted sweet glutinous rice treats.

Shinkai inwardly cursed them.

"Look, Shin-chan," Kagami said, as he adjusted her position on his lap and pointed out something in the distance. "That there is the Hokage Monument. It's where Tobirama-sensei watches over us."

Shinkai squinted but could only see blurs. She began to wonder if Kagami was of sane mind, and if she would turn out alright under his care. Delusion could do wonders to a person and their eyesight.

Alarmed and wondering if he should (or could) save his sister from Kagami's Gospel of Tobirama, Shisui swallowed his treat and hesitantly interjected, "Uh... Tou-san, you're not gonna—"

"Tobirama-sensei was the Second Hokage," Kagami said, completely ignoring his son, who by this point was facepalming and muttering about fanboys and manchildren under his breath. "He was the most handsome, strongest, wisest and best of all the Hokage! A shinobi and a scholar!"

"Um... Tou-san?"

"He was brave but also humble, a true master of the ninja arts and a leader who loved this village!"

"Tou-san, please."

"He established Konoha as we know today, and he stuck true to his noble ideals until the very end!"

"Really, Tou-san..."

"He had silvery grey hair, the most beautiful red eyes and a face fit for a daimyo! I remember his—"

"Kagami-sensei!"

The man abruptly stilled. His head snapped towards the source of the familiar voice, and his face lit up at the sight of the woman standing at the steps of the gazebo near a red-faced Shisui, a baby boy around his daughter's age on her hip. She waved at him, and he waved back in greeting. "Mikoto!"

Shinkai yawned. _'__Great, more live-action roleplaying cosplayers. Somebody save me.'_

"Going on that tangent again? Never change, Sensei," Mikoto laughed, as she stepped into the shade of the gazebo. She ruffled Shisui's fluffy hair in greeting, causing the boy to go an even deeper shade of red. Why did everyone insist on doing that to him whenever they met him?

"You know me," Kagami said, grinning unabashedly as Mikoto made her way to sit by his side. He was impervious to every form of teasing regarding his hero worship and everyone knew it; not that it ever stopped anyone from trying. "First time seeing you out with your boy. Itachi, was it? I know that it was your mother's last wish to have him named after your grandfather... but really, Mikoto?"

A light pink dusted his student's cheeks, and she enclosed her arms protectively around the boy on her lap. "It's been almost a year, Sensei. It's not strange or funny anymore," she huffed, reddening.

"I know, I know. And I'm sorry," Kagami (insincerely) apologised. "But he's such an easy target!"

Mikoto pursed her lips and forced a serene smile. "Oh, is that right? It's still better than Shisui."

Sitting on Kagami's other side, said boy let out a noise that was a cross between an indignant growl and an embarrassed squeak. Puffing his flushed cheeks, he speared his father with a petulant glare that the man effortlessly rendered futile, by ruffling the boy's already messy head of hair – again.

"Mikoto, you're still as blunt and rude as ever," Kagami lightly chided. "Well, at least now you smile when you insult people, but that just makes you more infuriatingly obnoxious, actually."

"I learned from the very best, Sensei."

"I hope your son doesn't pick that up."

The two held each other's stares, then laughed. A short, comfortable silence took over and blanketed the group after that, until Kagami noted to his old student, "Your boy's quiet. Just like my daughter."

Mikoto furrowed her brows. "Is that abnormal?"

"I don't_—_Shisui was a very noisy baby."

"T-Tou-san..."

"Shisui-kun still is a very noisy baby."

"Mikoto-sama..!"

The woman only giggled airily as Kagami ruffled his bashful son's hair with a firm hand, the boy valiantly trying – and failing – to slap it away. Shinkai almost smiled at the familial sight; but then she remembered _where_ she was supposed to be and _who_ she was supposed to be, and stopped herself.

"Say, Sensei," Mikoto said, catching her mentor's attention. "Is everything alright?"

Kagami only raised an eyebrow. "Yes."

The woman gave him a kind but firm look. "Are _you_ alright?" she asked, perhaps too carefully, because her mentor seemed to drift away from her again, widening the distance between them.

His tore his gaze away from hers. "Yes."

She sighed, shoulders drooping. She had expected this. "I... well, if you ever need anything..."

"I know. Thank you, Mikoto," Kagami lowly said, eyes overcast. "But don't worry. I'm alright."

Mikoto hesitantly nodded and stood up, Itachi in her arms. "I suppose it's time I get back home. I'll see you next time, Sensei, Shisui-kun, Shinkai-chan," she said, as she politely nodded at each of them.

"Sure. Say hi to Fugaku's frown for me," Kagami said. He dipped his head at his student, his gaze following her as she turned to leave.

When she neared the steps, he blurted out, "A war is coming."

Mikoto abruptly halted mid-step. She turned to peer at her teacher over her shoulder, eyebrows high at the suddenness of the statement. "I know," she flatly replied, not quite sure what his point was.

Her mentor's eyes grew cold and sharp. "The Academy is recruiting ealier, too."

Understanding flashed across her face. She held Itachi closer to her. "I know..."

"Don't do anything you'll regret," he firmly said. "Not for the past, or for him."

Mikoto slowly nodded, turning away from him. "I know," she softly mumbled.

Kagami appeared as if he wanted to rebuke her statements, but he held his tongue for her sake — because this was not about him or what he wanted, it never was; this was about her. He trusted her, he really did. And he trusted her to do what was right as much as he trusted her to make mistakes.

But above everything else, she had the right to choose her path, to live and die by her own choices. He could advise and he could try to convince – but he could never deny her of the ability to decide. And so he simply watched as she stepped out and away from him, hoping against hope that things would not turn out as he feared it would, and that another child would not be sacrificed for the clan.

Then the man remembered where he was and who he was with. He turned to his son, who appeared sullen due to Mikoto's absence, yet still had the faint traces of red in his ears. With a sly smirk and a teasing voice, Kagami cooed, "Don't worry, kiddo. You still have plenty of time to win her heart."

"Wha_—_I'm not—Why would you think that?" Shisui stammered, eyes darting about shiftily.

Kagami narrowed his eyes at the boy, smirk widening. From her perch in his lap, Shinkai thought he greatly resembled the Cheshire Cat. "Papa-ue sees everything," the man proudly said. "_Everything._"

Shisui grimaced and Shinkai cringed at the choice of pronoun.

"...Let's just go home, Tou-san."

"Papa-ue."

"_No._"

* * *

><p>Shinkai was gently placed on the floor, as her elderly 'Uchiha' nanny excused herself.<p>

She was beginning to get accustomed to the eccentricities of her new life. For one, it seemed as if everyone in her new hometown was obsessed with live-action roleplaying. It was strange. But she could live with it, she supposed. The girl had to admit that the role/cosplaying was of high quality.

It was free entertainment. And to top it all off, her sanity was still very much intact. Chakra? Ninja? Hokage? Uchiha? She did not believe it. And if she did not believe it, it did not exist.

Perhaps it was her baby body obeying baby mechanics, but she could not even be sure that she had not been hallucinating for... for however long she had been in this world. Hours and days seemed to bleed together into a stream, and as an infant she was not exactly privy to information like dates.

(The only real indicator of time that she could rely on were the seasons. Hn. Autumn was coming.)

But she digressed. The point was, for all she knew, she could have not actually died; she could have survived, fallen into a coma and now she was dreaming everything up. It was not an impossible theory. It was as plausible as reincarnation. In fact, reincarnation was far less plausible.

A boyish voice boomed through the house. "Shin-chan, I'm home! Hello, Akane-baachan!"

A cold trail running down her spine made her shiver in foreboding danger. _'__By the spirits...' _It was happening again. She could never seem to escape her genetic relative no matter what she tried.

"Welcome home, Shisui-kun. How was the Academy?"

"It was easy-peasy! Is Shin-chan in her room?"

_'No, I'm not. Tell him I'm not. Come on, I'll give you twenty dollars.'_

"Yes. She's still up, if you want to see her."

_'I hope you hit a tree and lose all your fake teeth Aki—Aga—Agomi!'_

The thumping of footfall neared; within seconds the door to her room burst open. A grinning boy of almost six entered, dressed in a light grey shirt and white shorts. He captured her in a firm embrace that she had long learned to simply accept and hope for a quick end to, since resistance was futile.

"Shin-chan! Missed me?" Shisui beamed.

_'No.'_ "Nga."

"Aww, I missed you too!" he laughed, pinching her cheeks.

_'Stop it!'_ "Sowa!"

"I love you! You're so cute!" he exclaimed, nuzzling his cheek against her head.

_'You're not my brother!'_ "Yunomii!"

"Shisui-kun," a low, raspy voice interrupted the one-sided cuddling-fest. The elderly woman standing at the doorway nodded at the boy. "I will be leaving now. Take care of yourselves."

"I will! Thanks, Akane-baachan!" Shisui said as he waved at the departing woman. Shinkai quietly prayed to any deity listening in for a quick end to the daily cuddling her fake-brother was fond of. At times, her hands itched for something sharp to hold onto, if only as a deterrent if not a weapon.

But... no. It was not that she hated her genetic relatives. They just made her feel a hundred different kinds of ill inside whenever they did anything too loving – scratch that, _whenever they did anything. _They were constant, painful reminders of what she had lost... and what she dearly wanted to forget.

She wished they would stop.

"Say, are you listening?"

Shinkai was jolted back to reality by Shisui wrapping his arms around her and picking her up. With surprising ease, he carried her out of her room, down the stairs, out of the house and into the large backyard where a shallow river stream perhaps a few metres wide crossed the land. Putting her down by the base of a tall, shady tree, he stepped back a distance away and faced the river.

"Like I was telling you," Shisui said over to her. "I've been practicing the technique Tou-san taught me two weeks ago. He said if I can master it by the time he gets back, he'll teach me to treewalk!"

She only blinked placidly in reply.

"His mission should be done by today, I think... but no worries, I've already mastered it!" her male genetic relative beamed at her with a cheesy thumbs up. Turning away, Shisui stepped into a stance. The girl hoped this charade would be over soon. Drama was one thing, faking ninjutsu was another.

A dozen paces away, Shisui stood as his hands formed... seals? Shinkai sighed.

_What is up with this kid? He's a total Narutard. He'll be so disappointed when—_

He breathed in. He held his fingers around his mouth. He breathed out.

A blaze of fire – hot, wild, burning _fire_ – flowed from his mouth in a funnel that swirled into a huge orb. The tornado of flames that raged over the river caused it to boil over and steam, creating a heat shimmer on the surface. A moment passed, and the ball of flames shrunk and eventually dissipated.

Shinkai was thoroughly frozen still when Shisui turned back to her. "Well, how was that?"

The girl stared blankly at where the flames had been, mind overclocking.

The gears grinded to a halt. Reality finally clicked.

She promptly burst into tears.

* * *

><p>"What happened?"<p>

"I don't know! I was just—"

"How long has she been like this?"

"—showing her the technique you taught me—"

"Have you tried—you—WHAT?"

"—I just didn't think she'd—"

"Uchiha Shisui!"

"I'm sorry...!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** It took her half a year, but Shinkai finally admitted it. And wow, I didn't expect so many follows and faves on the first chapter. Thank you all so much!

Here's to a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! My New Year's resolution is 1920 x 1080. What's yours?

Reviews are appreciated! ヽ(ﾟдﾟ; ≡ ;ﾟдﾟ)ﾉｼ


	3. On the Side of Me

On the Side of Me

Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters belong to Kishimoto-dono-sama-sensei-san-senpai-kun.

* * *

><p>Perhaps, from the very beginning, she had known that it was far too accurate to be a dream, far too sincere to be a lie and far too real to be anything but whatever she desperately did not want it to be.<p>

It was in the way people spoke of things without any facade of knowing what was going to happen next, as if they were not simply citing lines off of a script. It was in the way they bonded with each other, as if they had been friends and kinsmen all of their lives. It was in the way the adults treaded soundlessly without any intention of doing so, as if they were _ninjas_ trained to _kill_ since childhood.

(Murderers. Mercenaries. Assassins for hire. Those who profit from war and bloodshed. Suddenly the image of Kagami that she had ceased to be of a smiling man who radiated warmth and love.)

But really. Who in their right, thoroughly sane mind would simply admit to it and accept it?

The new world was one that she had only ever known as a work of art and entertainment; a world dominated by superhuman flying ninjas, elemental nuke-dropping criminals, autocratic military dictatorships, inhumane experiments, treacherous plots and ancient convoluted conspiracies.

And of all the possible run-of-the-mill ninja clans or civilian families she could have been reborn into, she had been thrown into the den of the ill-fated, thrice-damned Uchiha Clan of Kinslayers.

Shinkai had officially fallen off the deep end without any chance of coming back around.

_'Reincarnation,' _she wryly thought, and not for the first time._ 'What a kick in the nads.'_

* * *

><p>Days bled into blurs of disjointed moments in the daily routines, and it was not until winter greeted her for the second time that she was able to fully accept her new circumstances – it became known to her then, when the last of the warmly coloured leaves of autumn had fallen, that she had spent almost an entire year being dead in her original world and alive in a new, altogether alien one.<p>

Her weary breath left a smudge of condensation on the cold glass of the window pane.

_'Two years gone... Ten more to go... Huh. I wonder if I'll get reincarnated yet again?'_

She was pulled away from her snow-watching by Kagami, who gently picked her up from her perch on the armchair by the window and placed her on the hardwood floor before settling himself down, legs crossed. Shinkai softly whined, irritated at the unwelcome interruption. But all complaints died in her throat when she met the gaze of her genetic contributor that was far, far too kind for comfort.

She felt her insides lurch a little and winced. But when Kagami pressed his lips to her forehead, she could not help the giggles that broke free from her throat.

A heartbeat – and she quickly caught herself, horrified.

Spirits help her, she lost control again! Her adult mind and childish body were in civil war over how she should behave, but no matter how hard she fought... control was slowly slipping away from her.

"Shin-chan?"

Her eyes met his again, and this time the violently churning bile was tainted with a murky streak of bitterness. The resentment that had taken root in her heart only seemed to encourage her nausea and she had to turn her gaze away for fear of letting Kagami know of what she honestly thought of him.

"Are you alright?"

Shinkai only nodded, her eyes trained to the floor.

"Okay then, why don't we practice your speech?" he asked, soothingly combing his fingers through her gentle black waves. The girl was torn between leaning into his warm comfort and leaning away.

This man... who was _he_ to try to replace her father?

She mentally slapped herself for that stray thought.

Kagami pointed a finger to her chest and said, "Shinkai." Then he pointed to himself. "Tou-san." And back to her. "Shinkai." And then back to himself again, an expectant look upon his face.

She only blinked at him.

The man's kind expression faltered a little. "Would you say 'Tou-san' for me? Please? Tou-san."

The girl tilted her head to the side.

"Tou-san. To-u-sa-n," he repeated, his tone almost begging. "Me. Kagami. Ka-ga-mi. Tou-san."

Shinkai turned around and toddled away.

Kagami promptly captured her in an embrace and quickly brought her into his lap, his arms like the bars of a cage to keep a flighty bird in. He gave a weary sigh. If he had not known better, he would have thought her mute. But he did know better, and he knew that her very first word had been 'cold'.

The day she had said that, he had went out shopping for a dozen blankets. And a lot of sake.

Heart heavy, he sat there in pensive silence. It was a long while until he finally spoke.

"When will you call for me, little one?"

Shinkai had to force herself not to flinch at the weary tone that dug into her guilty heart like a knife. It was such a simple thing, what he was asking of her. She knew she owed it to him... yet she could never bring herself to let the word escape past her lips. It felt like such a betrayal to her real father.

And so as Kagami's deep, rumbling voice filled her heart with a gentle melody, the girl could only resign herself to desperately wishing that she had lost all of her memories before her reincarnation.

"What I want to sing are quiet words of love..."

Why did he have to make it so difficult for her?

* * *

><p>Shinkai scrutinised the peculiar set-up in the <em>tokonoma<em>. The small alcove at the back of the living room was playing host to what she had been told was a _kagami mochi;_ it was a leaf, placed on top of a tangerine, that was sitting on top of a circular white mochi, that was on top of another slightly larger white mochi; and all of them were resting on sheets of white paper upon a wooden pedestal.

"We're going to break it open on the 11th of January," Kagami said, patting her on the head. He did not notice the small scowl that quickly came and went on her still round face. "Keep your brother company while I finish cooking, will you? He won't be able to sit still for much longer alone."

Then he went away. Shinkai thought about asking him what he meant by 'breaking' the mochi open, but eventually settled for silently complying with his request and went to take a seat at the kotatsu.

_'Getting attached is for people who have long lives ahead of them,'_ the girl chastised herself.

Her gaze drifted over to Shisui slouching beside her, his head lazily resting on the table. He had just been sternly told off by Kagami for trying to steal some bites from the platters of food on the dining table and was now sulking. Of course, Shinkai ended up being entrusted to make sure he stayed put.

Was it just her, or was there something odd about a two-year-old looking after a seven-year-old?

"F'nders'r keep'rs," came the mumbles from the boy. "I n'd food... I need food...! Tou-saaan...!"

Okay. Perhaps there was nothing odd about it. Much.

Her eyes then glided over to the television that was showing a rerun of an episode of 'Court of the Purple Emperor', the most popular drama series of the past year. That begged some questions. This world had televisions, computers, cameras, radios, alphabets and loan words like _pan_ and _arubaito._ Where did they even come from? Did Commodore Perry ever make port in these Elemental Lands?

She shook off the dilemma before her head could start hurting again. It was pointless to try to make sense of this world's logic. Some things just _were_, and she would be an utter fool to question them.

_"Fujiwara no Teika shall preside over the ceremonies. Murasaki, you will go in his stead."_

_"My Glorious Liege, tis with the greatest honour I shall undertake this most sacred mission."_

"He's lying to you, Muracchi!" Shisui yelled at the screen, suddenly sitting up. "Emps is totally sending you away so he can go after the girl you like! Don't do it, you wimpy poet! It's a trap!"

Shinkai had no idea why Shisui liked to watch soap operas.

"Narihara's a snake. Isn't that right, Shin-chan?"

Why did he have to get her involved?

"Isn't that right, Shin-chan?"

She absently nodded.

"Ha! I knew it!"

Damn it all.

The doorbell ringing dispelled the bored haze that had clouded her mind, and both she and the boy sharing the kotatsu with her perked up as Kagami came running from the kitchen. Shisui quickly went to join him as he answered the door, and they were met with a din of cheerful greetings.

"You guys! I'm so glad you could make it!" Kagami returned, face lit like the sun. "Come in!"

With many thanks and hands ruffling a certain peeved boy's hair, one by one the guests entered the large but homely house, slipping out of their shoes and their winter coats in the process. Shisui was beyond glad to see that the Hokage and his wife, as well as Mikoto and Itachi were present; the boy wasted no time in dragging them inside and hogging all of their attention with his tales of daily life.

And there was Fugaku. But he was too busy scowling at Shisui's behaviour for anyone to really pay attention to him. Shinkai had the _very vague_ feeling that not many people liked that man, whereas Kagami was being regaled by a group of smiling adults who looked to be in their early 40s or so.

As for the birthday girl – she was too busy fidgeting with the sleeve of her kimono to greet them. Unfortunately, Kagami noticed exactly how much she did not want to participate. Picking her up and removing her from her beloved solitude, he presented his daughter to all of the party's guests.

Almost immediately there was a chorus of 'ooh' and 'aww' from the people invited. They huddled around Kagami and her, cooing over the girl and introducing themselves over each other. Shinkai could not make out what anyone was saying in the din; she could only put on her best scowl when they began to pat her head, tousle her hair, poke her cheeks and generally make a nuisance out of themselves – but all her scowl did was make them coo even more. As expected of a child's face.

A man Shinkai did not recognise smirked. "You stubborn bas—" He abruptly stopped at Kagami's pointed look. "You stubborn Uchiha! Two years old, and this is the first birthday party she's had?"

"Stubborn Uchiha?" the Hokage repeated. "That's redundancy right there. Trust me, I would know. More importantly... this is the first time she's been allowed to meet people aside from her family." He regarded his old comrade with a chastising look. "I know you're worried about her health..."

Kagami gave him a weak smile. "I know. It's not good that I'm keeping her isolated. I just—"

An Inuzuka cut in. "It's simple. We all get ta spoil 'er fer at least the next two years, am I right?"

The women in the group all lit up at once. But Kagami quashed that notion quickly. "No! I won't have her picking up bad habits from any of you!" He paused and then said, "Especially Hiruzen!"

The Sarutobi looked scandalised. "Why me in particular? You ought to be more worried about your daughter picking up things from your teammates," he said, pointedly looking over at the five people whom Shinkai did not recognise. At the comment, all five of them began to protest over each other.

"That's just rude, Hiru-san! I'll have you know swearing is a good way to let off some steam!"

"And what exactly is wrong with teaching little ones how to dissect a prisoner for information?"

"Izzit my accent? Izzit my wild hair? Izzit my trendy clothes? Or izzit just 'cuz I have two dogs?"

"Please, I'm not like the rest of these crazy people! Healing is a perfectly good thing to pick up!"

"I reckon I might be just a tad bit obsessed with my tags, but ya can't say they ain't useful..!"

Kagami sighed and cut in, "I just don't want her to start reading the things you read, Hiruzen. She's better off picking up quirks that might save her life and not..." He chuckled. "Whatever you're into."

"Oh, what exactly is he into?"

"It's nothing, Biwako dear!"

As the couple got into a hushed sparring with words, Mikoto gave Kagami her best puppy-eyed look. Which was quite powerful, in fact. "Really, Sensei? I can't spoil cute little Shinkai-chan?"

Kagami sighed. "Well..."

The Hokage's wife returned to the conversation. "You'll need all the help you can get raising her. Didn't you go to Mikoto when choosing the little one's kimono?"

Beside her, the Lady of the Uchiha Clan giggled airily. "And I'm glad he did. As much as we all love him, Sensei's fashion sense is a little..."

"Nonexistent," the Hokage supplied, getting many snickers from the guests and an eyeroll Kagami.

"Come on, it's lunchtime and the food's not going to stay hot or fresh forever," the man beckoned, gesturing over the the refreshment-laden table in the kitchen. With much cheer from Shisui and a breath of relief from Shinkai, the adults put off the questions for until they had filled themselves.

There were ten guests in total – the two old Sarutobi; the three Uchiha guests; a brown haired and eyed man who bore a faint resemblance to the Hokage; a red-lipped Hyuuga woman with an odd wavy bob of dark blonde hair; a scruffy-looking Inuzuka with dark shaggy hair, feral eyes and a stubble; an unknown woman with forest-green eyes and ginger hair pulled into a short ponytail; plus a bearded, graying man with tired eyes whom Shinkai swore looked like he had seen 'Nam.

_'Hiruzen #2, Blondie, Scruffy, Ginger and Bill,'_ she christened them in order, her eyes taking them apart and putting them together as they ate and held pleasant conversations amongst themselves.

Hiruzen #2 was a jokester, she could tell, and amongst the five unknown guests he was clearly the one closest to Kagami. He also got along splendidly with the Hokage, even calling him 'Hiru-san', and Shinkai felt certain now that the man was a Sarutobi as well. How closely related were they?

"—finally told Kazuhiko that the 'lady' from Irohaya was really a crossdressing guy—"

"You could've warned him earlier, you know. He's your nephew, after all."

"Please, Hiru-san! I love him and all, but he's a damn brat!"

Blondie, with her painted lips and fine features, was akin to a cross between a supermodel and a regal queen of long centuries past – she certainly had the grace in her steps, the suaveness in her movements and the nobility within her words. In a sense, she was like fine wine, and Shinkai did not need to see her blank forehead to know that Blondie was a lady of high class and high position.

"Hiashi has been taking utmost care of her, yet I fear for her health. What say you, Biwako-san?"

"Hm... sounds like anaemia coupled with a common cold. Has she been eating properly?"

"To my knowledge, yes. And I do hope it is simply that... and nothing more..."

Scruffy was stereotypically Inuzuka – gruff, brash, loud but with a carefree attitude that could melt the thickest of ice. He spoke with an accented drawl and plenty of hand movements, and he did not seem to understand the concept of personal space or indoor voice. If he did, he cared little for them.

"I swear, Mikocchi! I _know_ there's somethin' they're hidin'! Last time—"

"Well, maybe if you stopped hoarding all the fruit juice..."

"Wait. S'it my fault, now?"

Ginger, on the other hand, was polite and courteous, cheerful and sociable; Shinkai could tell that the woman was a mothering type and the peacemaker amongst her friends, even if the methods she employed to keep the peace – like hitting the back of Scruffy's head – were less than peaceful. The woman reminded Shinkai of one pink-haired ninja, except she was _a lot_ more pleasant and patient.

"I hear that your son has made great leaps in his studies already. You must be proud, Fugaku-san."

"He is... acceptable."

"Oh. I see..."

And then there was Bill, who for all intents and purposes, was named such because he reminded Shinkai of a certain Vietnam veteran from a certain game involving zombies. The girl was quite pleasantly surprised to find out that he grumbled just as much as his namesake, although there existed a worrying obsession with explosive tags, explosions, fire and dead bodies in general.

"I was workin' on some tags, when this wet _quilt_ of a recruit strolls in like his ass is made of—"

"This _is_ my daughter's birthday party and there _are_ children present, you know that?"

"..Sorry. I forget kids these days are too tame. Remember back when—"

The one thing that bound the five unknown guests was how easily they mixed with each other, and how at ease they seemed to be with the known guests. There were cold glares sent to the Head of the Uchiha Clan from time to time, but Shinkai attributed it to Fugaku being Fugaku as usual.

(When Hiruzen #2 had joked about the Hokage's lack of hair, Fugaku had dared to 'suggest' to the esteemed leader of Konoha that he ought to 'control' his 'subordinate' better, earning himself some rather nasty looks from the five unknown guests, a cool rebuttal from the Hokage, instructing him to mind his own business and a reproachful expression from Kagami himself. Egotistical bastard.)

All in all, the party was a small, cosy gathering between friends. The ones who were present had been invited to be amongst the first of Kagami's associates to see her, and Shinkai wondered just how far Kagami's paranoia could go. It took him two years to let his closest friends meet her, so how long would it take for him to let her go outside for once? She never used to mind staying in, but that was when she had her computer and her internet. Now though... she was getting restless.

And then Blondie just _had_ to say the one thing that silenced everyone.

"Kagami. Your daughter is almost an exact copy of her mother."

It was as if a blizzard had suddenly struck the dining table and Shinkai was not the only one to notice. Scruffy lightly slapped his blonde friend on the back of her head as the rest of them only sighed and shook their heads. It seemed that her tactless tongue was a familiar thing in their circle.

From her perch on the high chair, the girl peered over to Kagami and found him frozen, face ashen. Shinkai did not know the whole story behind her other genetic contributor since Kagami and Shisui rarely, if ever, spoke about _her_, but from the fact that they were clearly missing someone important in their household... well, she had her own theories, and none of them sounded comforting to her.

Hiruzen #2 cleared his throat. "Thank you. She needed that one."

Blondie looked mildly affronted. She opened her mouth to retort, but Ginger beat her to it. "Well, Shinkai-chan is a pretty little thing. I'm sure she'll grow up to be stunning. Just look at her hair!"

Hiruzen #2 mocked a grimace. "Really? I thought we were all hoping he didn't pass on his bird's nest to anyone else." He shot Kagami with a _look_. "You daft man, was one victim not enough?"

"Hey!" the first victim indignantly squeaked.

"Ashiya!" Ginger scolded, brutally elbowing her friend in the ribs. He doubled over, wheezing.

Kagami only laughed, throwing his head back. "It's not that bad, really! And well, I'm glad she inherited my hair. Otherwise, there'd be absolutely nothing from me to show up in her!"

"And it's just the opposite with Shisui-kun," Mikoto added. "If it wasn't for his eyes..."

There was a round of laughing, nodding and murmured agreements across the table.

* * *

><p>She was not aware that she had fallen asleep in the middle of her own birthday party, but apparently she had. Who even did that? <em>'If I cared, this would be embarrassing. But I don't, so there is that...'<em>

It was evening when Shinkai woke. The girl found herself in her own bed and out of her kimono, a dress having taken its place as her clothing. She must have either been too tired to wake up when Kagami was changing her, or she slept like a log. Which was not a good trait for a ninja to have, though it would help ease along her future premeditated cold-blooded murder by Itachi's hands.

That was one reason to feel glad about having slept mid-way through her own birthday party. She really had not been looking forward to meeting Itachi – and Mikoto would surely have introduced them to each other, she knew. There was no need to meet her killer if she could just meet his blade.

Sitting up and swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, she paused when her eyes landed on the pile of colourfully wrapped boxes on the low table nearby. The girl felt an eye twitch. She sighed. _'So much for not caring. How am I going to thank everyone? This is such a drag. This is way too troublesome. Why wasn't I born to the Nara Clan? Or better yet, a civilian family. What a pain.'_

Sitting herself at the low table, she switched the lamp on and began opening her presents, all the while reading the greetings cards that came with them to the best of her ability. Thankfully, they were written with kana only, and not kanji. Her eyes brightened when they swept over the name 'Sarutobi Ashiya'. Her initial guess had been correct, after all! So how was he related to Hiruzen?

She caught herself and froze. What had she told herself about getting attached? It was pointless. But looking at all the presents that she had received, she could not help but wish that it was not the case.

Hiruzen #2 – or Sarutobi Ashiya – had given her a fluffy teddy bear. Hugging it close to her, the girl silently thanked the man. _'So, what should I name you?'_ she thought, beholding it. _'Makigusotaro?'_

Blondie – or Hyuuga Harumi – had given her a simple yet chic red denim jacket. As expected of someone who was the very definition of class. Shinkai would definitely wear it on the night when she was to be murdered in cold blood – at the very least she would look utterly fashionable in death.

Scruffy – whose real name was Inuzuka Touma – gifted her a lush carpet made of soft, white... fur? She gulped warily. She hoped that it had not been a dog once. Her conscience was tainted enough. She knew of the massacre but she would not tell anyone. It was for the greater good, of course.

Ginger's – Kiyama Kakunojou – present was a book; an anthology of poems and fairytales, to be exact. It had a hard cover, was as thick as a dictionary and its pages were very colourfully painted. Shinkai wished she could escape into those pages of fictional fantasies. Her current one just sucked.

Bill – whose name was Kinoshita Nobuhiro, apparently – had given her three beautiful traditional ink paintings on scrolls. They were definitely going to be hung on the wall of her room's alcove. She only hoped that her blood would not get sprayed on them. Now, that would be a tragedy.

The Hokage and his wife's gift was a pot of immaculately cultivated bonsai. It was a shame that the plant would not receive the proper care that it needed in her custody. Really, for the Hokage to have parted with something as time-consuming to nurture and as majestic as this miniature juniper tree...

It was a gift that likely took him a decade to craft. Hiruzen truly was Kagami's best friend.

And that best friend would give his consent, even if reluctantly, to slaughter Kagami's clan.

Shinkai sighed. _'It seems just about everything I think of is a reminder of my future murder.'_

Sullenly, she went on to the next gift. Mikoto's (and by extension, Itachi's) present was a set of Go and a set of rubber shuriken. The latter was undeniably Fugaku's doing, and the message that came with it was clear as day: "You'll become a ninja and die for the clan's pride because I own your ass."

At least, that was what she could see in between the lines of the short and curt greeting card.

Perhaps the second and third point may not have been stated outright. But they were related to the first point, so she might as well assume that it came as a three-in-one savings deal. One thing was certain, though – Fugaku was an absolute bastard. Were she strong enough, she would go out and kick his crotch in with enough force that it would shatter his pelvis and his peanuts-for-jewels for all the things he would end up doing to everyone. But alas, the second son was yet to be wombed.

And then there was Kagami and Shisui's present. It was a gem of the deepest ocean blue, a pendant in the shape of a teardrop. It came attached to a loop of black cord, and it was too beautiful for her.

_'What should I do with this?'_ she wondered.

That thought slipped away when her eyes caught an extra box hiding in the shadows of the low table. _'Strange. I've opened up everything from everyone...'_

Retrieving it, the girl read its card and froze.

What business did Namikaze Minato, Uzumaki Kushina and Hatake Kakashi have with Kagami?

* * *

><p>The first day of the new year was as Japanese as the girl had imagined it to be. It was very early in the morning when Kagami wrapped himself and his products of mitosis in fancy kimono and took them to a shrine. There was already a crowd when they arrived. It was the first time in a long while that Shinkai had seen so many people gathered in one place, and the girl could not help but to gawk.<p>

Just about everyone was dressed in fancy kimono!

They washed their hands and mouths at the _chouzuya_ – the pavillion with basins of clear water – to purify themselves before approaching the shrine proper. The long stone tiled pathway leading up to it was crowded with throngs of people looking to absolve themselves of sin and wish for good luck, and Kagami had all three of them join the massive queue. Shisui complained about the waiting time they would no doubt face, but Shinkai was too engrossed in how lively the shrine was to care much.

Bells ringing. Birds chirping. Children laughing. People gossiping.

The girl had not realised exactly how much she had missed those sounds.

It was as if she had been aimlessly wandering in a scorching desert and had come across an oasis with the clearest and purest water she had ever seen. So focused was she on taking everything in with wide eyes and eager ears, it was not until Kagami gently tapped her on the back of her head that she realised they were at the beginning of the line leading up to the shrine. It was their turn.

Shinkai was still giddy with the sights and sounds of the shrine, she barely noticed when Kagami held her hand and guided her up the short flight of stairs to pray. For ceremony's sake (as well as being too light-headed to seriously comprehend much), the girl went along with the silent prayer.

They rang the bells overhead, clapped their hands twice and bowed.

Kagami then took his children over to an elderly priestess selling _omamori_ – talismans for good luck and protection. The priestess leaned over her stand to peer down at both Shisui and Shinkai. She smiled. "My, such adorable little ones. And what will it be for our bright young Uchiha, hn?"

_'Uchiha?'_ Shinkai wondered. She was not wearing the symbol of the clan at the moment. How did the priestess know? Looking around the shrine, the girl finally realised what her mind had failed to register in her joyous reunion with the outside world; this was the Uchiha Clan's own Naka Shrine.

"Shin-chan," Kagami said. He bent down and gently pressed an omamori in her palm. When she leveled him with a confused look, he explained, "It's one of Yakushi Nyorai. A god of healing."

Her eyes brightened as realisation dawn on her and she ducked her head, feeling her ears burn. Her small hands patted her chest where the pendant that she had been given sat under the kimono.

"I got Shisui one of Bishamon, a protector of warriors and the punisher of evil-doers. And as for me..." He looked sheepish. "I got one of Kannon, a goddess of mercy."

Kagami tucked her omamori into the folds of her kimono. "Remember, never open your talisman. It's rude and the good luck might just leak out! Isn't that right, Shisui?"

The boy stopped mid-way in untying his omamori open, and guiltily tied it closed again. "...Yes."

Then they were off to purchase _omikuji_ – fortunes printed on strips of paper. By this time Shinkai was finally beginning to pull her head out of the clouds, and so she was able to register what slip she had gotten. The girl frowned and stared at the lot, as if willing it to change itself on its own.

Kagami leaned over her shoulder and drew a sharp breath at the paper. "Curse."

Shisui grimaced. "But she can change it, right? Can't she just go pick another one?"

The older Uchiha chuckled rather awkwardly. "You can tie it to a pine tree and hope the bad luck stays there and doesn't follow you." Then he relaxed, placing his hands on Shinkai's shoulders reassuringly. "Though, as with most things, fortune lots aren't something to rely on much."

Shinkai silently agreed with that sentiment. She let Kagami guide her over to a long row pine trees; their branches were colourful with all the 'bad luck lots' that others had left behind. Shisui laughed.

"Shin-chan, you're not the only one to get a lousy one!" the boy teased.

Kagami tried to hide his smile, but failed. "Here, sweetheart. Let me tie it for you."

And so he did. When he turned back to face his children, the man found both himself and his son accosted with a strange look from the only girl in the group. She tilted her head in that way she always did whenever she could not figure something out. "Yours?" she asked, her voice small.

"Too bad, both Tou-san and I picked good lots," Shisui chimed in, waving his slip at his sibling. "Blessings, for both of us!" Then he pointedly looked to Kagami. "D'you think it means I may get something nice in the future? Something like mochi daifuku or mitarashi dango or anko taiyaki—"

Kagami rolled his eyes, his smile betraying his amusement. "Oh, I'm sure you will."

"Yes!" the boy cheered, leaping into his father's embrace. "You're the best! Let's go!"

And so they made that long journey to Kagami and Shisui's favourite sweets shop in the centre of Konoha, Irohaya. Strolling along a wide path cutting across the winter fields and watching the tall, bare trees that lined either side of it sway gently in the wind, Shinkai wondered exactly how long she would have this peace and this little pretend-family. When would the real nightmare start?

Kagami gently patted her head. "Shin-chan?"

She turned to look up at him and met his gaze.

"Ah..." The man smiled warmly at her. "It's nothing."

The girl held his gaze for a moment longer than usual before turning away. Patting her chest where both the omamori and the pendant rested underneath her kimono, she allowed herself a small smile.

She had not felt repulsed by her guardian's kind eyes that time.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Thank you all for the faves, follows and reviews! If I could send green tea mochi to every one of you through the computer screen as thanks, I would!

Alas, I'm a little dissatisfied with this chapter, both in how it came out and how long it took to come out. I must've rewritten this from scratch at least six times and edited the draft two dozen times over until words had no meaning to my frazzled brain anymore. Ugh. But yeah... enjoy this peace while it lasts. /cackles

Reviews are appreciated!ヽ(ﾟдﾟ; ≡ ;ﾟдﾟ)ﾉｼ


	4. Our Broken Bonds

Our Broken Bonds

Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters belong to Kishimoto-dono-sama-sensei-san-senpai-kun.

* * *

><p>It was a well-known fact that most members of the Uchiha Clan were born during summer. Since time immemorial, the clan believed that their fragile embers needed the heat for them to grow into unwavering bonfires – and so the peculiar tradition of conceiving in the coldest season took root. It was a silly superstition that had been utterly debunked by Uchiha Madara, but old habits died hard. Now, chasing after each other in winter was a favourite pastime of the stereotypically stoic Uchiha.<p>

That was one of the reasons why Shinkai was taking a walk not at the park in the compound, but at the park where her guardian had pointed out the Hokage Monument to her for the first time. It was either this or to shut herself in at home until spring came, since the girl was pretty sure that she was allergic to Uchiha kissing each other in public. Just the thought of it made her feel like throwing up.

Of course, myths were best propagated when mixed with the real facts. In the days when ninja clans were constantly at war with each other, supplies of food were always on the short side in the coldest season. Combined with the lack of medical knowledge, stillbirths were most common and children were most prone to falling ill and dying during the winter – that was true for everyone who lived in those years, be they ninjas or civilians. It had simply been a lot more symbolic for the Uchiha Clan.

The girl tugged the oversized red jacket that Blondie had given to her closer, a double layer above a thicker tan article. The sound of snow crunching under her boots abruptly halted when soft mewling reached her ears. Both Kagami and Shisui stopped as well. All three of them quickly looked around.

"This way," Kagami said, steering both his children by their shoulders towards a lone snow-covered bench. As a group they dropped to all fours to peek under it, gasping when a pair of tired azure eyes met their own lively obsidian ones. It was a small orange tabby. The stray was a frail and dirty thing – it was dangerously thin, its bones seemingly protruded from its fur that was matted with sleet and dirt, and its demeanor was like that of a delirious kitten. Perhaps because it _was_ a delirious kitten?

The three Uchiha silently stared at it for a long moment, feeling their chests constrict at its plight.

"Tou-san," Shisui finally broke the ice. "Can we keep it?"

"You know my missions take me away from home for half the week. Can you two really look after a sick cat on your own?" Kagami reasoned. Shisui puffed his cheeks indignantly at the reply, but could not counter the sound argument. Cats were cute but he did not know a thing about them.

"We can."

Both of them turned to Shinkai, who had finally spoken for the first time since they had left the house. "We can take care of it on our own," she resolutely said, her heart already captured by the orange tabby. "We'll clean it, feed it, make a bed for it, train it and play with it. We'll look after it."

Kagami was not so certain. "Do you really know how to?" He received a stiff nod in response and relented. "Then it's a promise, okay? And if you two can't take care of it, then it has to go. No buts."

"But—"

"Shisui..."

Suddenly the smooth, velvety voice of a woman asked, "What do you three think you are doing?"

Kagami and his brood backed up just enough to lock gazes with Hyuuga Harumi, who was in return looking down on them in more ways than one. At her condescending expression, the three looked at each other and noted that their heads were under the bench and their rears were pointing out and up.

A long moment of awkward silence passed. And then... "We found a cat," Kagami weakly said.

Harumi simply arched an eyebrow, her expression unchanging. "Pray tell me. Why is it that every time I chance upon you out in public, one way or another you are on your knees... Commander? Wait. On second thought, I do not wish to know," she said, before turning and walking away.

Kagami watched her figure quickly disappear into the horizon. "I feel like I'm misunderstood by just about everyone," he dejectedly muttered. "Whenever I try to explain myself, nobody listens."

"That's because you're a... you're a..." Shisui paused. "Fugaku-sama said you were im... impotent?"

"What."

"Yeah, he said it really strangely too. I swear it almost looked like he was smiling. But that can't be it, can it?" Shisui wondered. "Fugaku-sama never smiles. Fugaku-sama can't smile. It's impossible."

Shinkai was inclined to agree with that. And then, feeling oddly mischievious (for the first time in forever), the girl asked with her purest and most innocent voice, "So... what does impotent mean?"

Kagami's eyes twitched and he darkly muttered, "Nothing. It just means someone's going to die."

* * *

><p>Why did people celebrate birthdays? The only thing to be gained would be the knowledge that you were one step closer to old age and death. Sure, Shinkai had encountered death first-hand – but she remembered very little of it, so the possibility of eternal oblivion still terrified her to the very bones. Perhaps, even more so now that she had died once than before. Birthday parties were a pain in the—<p>

The front door to the apartment flew open.

—ass.

"Happy birthday!" both Kagami and Shisui exclaimed. Behind them, Shinkai mumbled something along the same lines, though she was, quite literally, shaking in her boots and oversized red jacket.

"Welcome!" greeted a certain yet-to-be-named-Fourth-Hokage, yet-to-become-a-father, yet-to-die young man with the gaudiest shade of messy blond hair and the clearest set of blue eyes Shinkai had ever seen. The man gave his three Uchiha guests a wide smile as blinding as a thousand suns. "Kagami-san, I can't believe you're this late. I hope you're prepared for a scolding from Kushina."

Kagami nervously chuckled. "Sorry, my daughter was oddly fussy about going..." He looked down to the small figure hiding behind his legs. "Shin-chan, don't you have something to say to Minato?"

The blond perked up at that. "To me?"

Shinkai scowled at both adults, although the effect was lost entirely due to how her still round face made all her expressions look harmless. Inhaling deeply, the girl mustered all of her courage to face this reminder of the future. Oh, damn it all. "Hello," she squeaked. "Thank you for the present lots!"

She paused and blinked. That sounded a bit off.

Minato only laughed her mistake off good-naturedly. "I'm glad to hear that. I'm sure the others will too! Now, come in! Kushina made lots of food, so no need to hold back. There's enough for us all!"

True to Minato's word, Kagami was captured by the Lady of the Uchiha Clan and the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi as soon as he stepped foot inside the living room. What followed was nothing short of a verbal lashing that had the man trembling as if he had just dived into a lake in the middle of winter.

_'I just saw a middle-aged man get bullied to near tears by two young women,'_ Shinkai marvelled to herself, watching as Kagami was consoled by both Minato and Shisui at a corner. Then she found that without her distraction and shield against the she-devils, _she_ was their next target practice.

Eyes wide with fear, Shinkai slowly backed away as the predators approached with a hunger in their eyes, step after heavy step, their arms outstretched menacingly towards her. Was this how she was going to meet her end? Death by eldritch encounters of the red-headed and eerily smiling kind?

Suddenly her back bumped into someone and before she knew it, a pair of hands steadied her.

"Kushina-san! Mikoto-san!" a girl's voice scolded. "You're not doing anything strange, are you?"

"Eh? Whatcha talkin' about?" Kushina asked, blinking all too innocently. "Strange things? Nah, I wouldn't know anythin' about that! Yer just bein' a spoilsport as usual! Isn't that right, Mikocchi?"

Mikoto nodded, smiling far too serenely for Shinkai's comfort. "We're not doing anything strange. Introducing Shinkai-chan to Kusshiko is my duty as a friend, you know. You're so silly, Rin-chan."

Shinkai froze. _'Rin...?'_ Her gaze shot up to look at who was defending her from the wild serpents of Konoha, and she felt as if her heart had dropped to the floor – nay, the centre of the planet, actually. With a yelp the girl quickly scampered back towards Mikoto and latched onto the hem of her skirt, burying her face in its flowery scents. The three older girls could only stare at the peculiar scene.

"Well," Kushina said. "That was quick. But now we get ta play with 'er hair as much as we want!"

"She's too young for you to corrupt!" Rin protested. "And once you start, you never know when to stop. I would know something about that; you two almost cut all my hair off when 'playing' once!"

"But Rin-chan," Mikoto whined. She picked Shinkai up and nestled the girl into her arms despite her silent struggling. "Look! Her hair isn't nearly as messy as her father and brother's, and it's so soft, too. This kind of not-too-messy and not-too-straight hair is rare, especially for my clan!"

Kushina was wide eyed. "Mikocchi, we found a treasure!"

Mikoto winked at her. "Will you get the scissors, Kusshiko?"

"Stop it you two! I'm going to tell on you!" Rin feebly whined.

"Just a sample! I have to get it as a souvenir for Itachi back home!"

The three then began squabbling over Shinkai, and the girl in question was waved around high up in the air and passed between them like a sack of potatoes. The urge to cry was strong but the girl held herself together for dignity's sake (or, whatever remained of her dignity). So there she was, stuck as the ball in their little game. These three she-devils were not as nice as Naruto canon would suggest.

_'Who even allowed them to be near children? Hell, who allowed two of them to have children?!'_

She was beginning to feel sick from being swung around. The girl was so very close to breaking down when a gruff voice halted the game. "What are you three ladies doing with a fragile babe?"

The dizzying movements promptly stopped. It was as if the rays of the heavens had shone down upon Shinkai. Her hopeful eyes, filled with unshed tears, settled onto her chivalrous saviour—

The man grinned. "The handsome Toad Sage of—"

"Tch." She turned away. _'Nevermind. It was just a dirty hobo.'_

"Huh? Oi, what's with that look? Little girls shouldn't have such a disdainful look when gazing upon the handsome and rugged features of the noble Toad Sage of Mount Myouboku, Jiraiya!"

"Handsome? Rugged?" Kushina repeated incredulously. "The last time I ever seen somethin' that matched yer looks was when I had a massive diarrhea one week ago ya peepin', good-fer-nothin', juvenile delinquent! I haven't forgotten how ya dragged Minato to the bathhouse to spy on girls!"

Jiraiya quickly put up his hands in surrender. "Oh, come on! That was last autumn! Live and let—"

Between Kushina repeatedly punching him in the gut and slapping his face with a sandal, the old pervert never got the chance to finish his statement.

But the man did distract Shinkai's tormentors; soon she was quickly let down and ushered towards another group in the kitchen by Mikoto, although they too seemed to be in some sort of argument. The girl realised too late exactly which lion's den she had been tossed into, because soon she was the centre of attention of two boys whom she recognised all too well. She looked to Mikoto with pleading eyes, but the she-devil only smiled and waved at her before leaving to rejoin 'Kusshiko'.

"What's this squirt?" a disinterested voice asked. Shinkai felt an eye twitch at being designated a 'what'. She said nothing, though. Seeing those two was making her fingers itch for a sharp knife.

"Come on, Kakashi. Doesn't she actually look like... like... Wait, what was that lady's name?"

Kakashi sighed. "You're an idiot, Obito."

"You bastard, what did you just say?"

"Are you deaf as well? I said..."

Yet another argument started. Or rather, resumed. Shinkai glanced between Obito and Kakashi as the former muttered childish insults and the latter threw down some harsh, sarcastic jabs in return. Fortunately, the girl was soon saved the pain of having to see two children quarrel by Kagami and Minato; the former took her into his arms and the latter asked his lover to keep the party... _friendly_.

Puffing her cheeks, Shinkai levelled her guardian with a scowl that was much less effective than she thought. Where the hell was he when she was being bullied by just about everyone at the gathering?

Then something unexpected happened. Shinkai was taken to what appeared to be a Minato's private study; both messily opened and neatly tied scrolls cluttered just about every corner of the room and the shelves were filled with precariously placed piles of books that threatened to tumble to the floor at the slightest disturbance. Profusely apologising for the disarray, Minato hurriedly cleared the low table in the very centre of the room while inviting everyone to make themselves comfortable there. Kagami promptly settled down as told, keeping Shinkai within his arms' hold on his crossed legs.

The girl squirmed uneasily. And when she heard the undeniable click of a door being locked, the uneasy feeling condensed into a cold stone that settled heavily in her gut. What were they doing? There were only three others with her now – Kagami, Minato and Jiraiya. Awkward silence ruled while the latter two men settled down. Shinkai had the suspicion that a secret was to be discussed.

Did this concern her?

It was Jiraiya who broke the tension that was taut in the air. Shinkai did not like the way the way the Sannin looked at her guardian while he spoke. Gone was the jovial warmth in his eyes and voice, a biting frost having taken its place. "Of all the people to invite to a birthday party... Minato. Why?"

The blond gently tried to explain. "Sensei, isn't it time to put the past behind us? Kagami-san—"

"Was not there when Sakumo needed him the most," Jiraiya bit out, his entire form stiff and hostile. Shinkai blinked at this turn of events. It was certainly... unexpected. What was even going on here?

There was no reply, no objection from an unusually tense Kagami and Minato did not try to restrain his teacher as the man took the silence to his statement as a cue to continue."To think he thought you of all people would understand. Shows just what comes out of trusting an Uchiha dog—"

"Sensei!" Minato scolded, his features torn.

In her guardian's lap, Shinkai was still, wide eyed with shock. Those were not the kind of spiteful words that she had expected someone like Jiraiya to ever utter. Danzo, yes. But not Jiraiya. Never.

The Sannin did not stop there, however. If anything, his student's reprimand only served to make his ice burn hot. "I tried to give your kind a chance. I really did. But even myths are based on the truth. The Senju should've imposed stricter restrictions on your clan... in fact, you traitors all deserve—"

An unbearably cold, suffocating pressure suddenly seized Shinkai – the girl felt like she had fallen through the floors, the ground and landed on the seabed beneath the collective oceans of the world and it was all so hopelessly cold, so abjectly unfeeling and cruelly empty of anything beyond stark oblivion that she wondered if she had been dreaming of life in her death all along and her soul and heart and entire existence was crying and screaming under the force that was trying to **break **her—

The pressure suddenly lifted and Shinkai gasped, her lungs greedily devouring air as if there was no tomorrow. The girl went limp and slack in her guardian's arms like a puppet that had its strings cut, her muscles trembling and unable to summon any strength whatsoever. She violently shuddered.

She had felt the currents trying to swallow her, bring her down, drown her and keep her in what was without a doubt the loneliest place in the world. She had a feeling back then, that if she had stopped resisting then she would have never seen the light of the stars in the sky again. If there ever was one sensation that could fit the very definition of _death_, then that abject despair that she had felt was it.

"Shin-chan."

Warmth snapped her out of her trance. For a few moments, the girl simply sat still and dazed. Then her wide blank eyes slowly found its focus and the sensations gradually returned to her numb body; Shinkai soon became aware of the cold dampness that stuck to her skin, the shuddering chill that ran up and down her spine and the shaken breaths that left her pink lips in short bursts. The girl weakly looked down. Kagami's large hands were wrapped around her own, his warmth enclosing her fully.

He was whispering a chant of reassurances in her ear much like a lullaby. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, sweetheart. It's over now. You're fine. Just fine. You're here. With me. So breathe... just breathe..."

Shinkai responded to his words mechanically, her chest rising and falling at a gradually slower pace than before. With her head spinning as if she had just had the wind knocked out of her, the girl was only vaguely aware of the hot tears painting her cheeks being gently dabbed away by her guardian.

A cough brought her back to earth. Minato looked worse for wear than when she had last seen him, which had not been very long at all. He seemed uneasy. "Please forgive Sensei... he's just a little..."

Kagami only chuckled, sounding quite broken. "I can accept his misgivings towards me personally. But to speak of my entire clan like that... that's something I can't overlook. Despite everything, I..." He shook his head as if to shake the very thought off of his mind and sighed heavily. "I apologise."

At that, he held his daughter closer to him. It was some measure of comfort, reassurance, apology and reminder all at once – to the both of them.

"I'm sorry, too."

All eyes in the room landed on Jiraiya. "I stand by what I said, but I shouldn't have said them in front of your daughter. But then again, you shouldn't have done what you did, either," he said.

Kagami did not deny it. "You don't have to tell me. More than anyone else, I know that I'm not a good father. I'm not even a good person. And I'm not asking to be forgiven. I just—I want you to understand, Jiraiya-san, and I ask that you allow me to make up for the things that I failed to do."

Jiraiya narrowed his eyes. "Sakumo might've been your apprentice, but he was my sworn brother." Then he rose to his feet and went to the door, unlocking it. "He knew you and got hurt. Kakashi doesn't know you... and I don't intend on letting history repeat itself. So stay away, _Uchiha._"

The last word had been spat with such a venomous tone that Shinkai found it hard to associate this Jiraiya with the man that she had known from canon material. In her previous life, she had thought that the Uchiha had been their own undoing and deserved much of what happened to them, but now she was not so sure. Then again, could this case just stem from a personal conflict? No, the hate was too broad in scope. Jiraiya was not the kind of person to bear such feelings without having a reason. Was there something about him that she had missed in the manga? She could not think of anything.

With nothing more to add, the Sannin quickly left and slammed the door shut behind him. It was a long moment until Minato pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why didn't you just tell him the truth?"

"Because it doesn't matter what it was in hindsight."

Silence. Then the blond's tone softened. "Hokage-sama told me because he was concerned about you. Both he and I agreed that Jiraiya-san can be included in the secret, as well. You can tell him."

Still, Kagami shook his head. "It's a matter of principle."

Minato tried again. "It would do Kakashi a lot of good to know that the infamous Mirage was his father's tutor. If you explained things to him, I'm sure he'd understand his father's decision better."

Kagami chuckled dryly. "You think the boy will forgive me?"

"No. I don't think he can. How can he forgive you when you've done nothing that needs forgiving?"

This time, Kagami laughed. However it was not his usual hearty laugh that always made him throw his head back, nor was it anything that was filled with mirth. It was empty. And when his shoulders finally stopped shaking, he said, "Let's get back to why we're here. Can we carry out the test now?"

Minato was mildly startled at the abrupt change in topics, and more than a little upset at his senior's dismissal of any chances at reconcilliation with the past. But he filed his thoughts away for later. It was not an immediate concern. Right now, he had to focus on the task before him. He moved over to sit beside Kagami, who shifted so that they faced each other, Shinkai sitting in between them.

So this was why she had been brought along.

With his best attempt at a reassuring smile, Minato placed one warm hand on the girl's torso and said, "Shinkai-chan, just relax, okay? It's going to feel a bit wierd, but it won't last long. Ready?"

_'For a chakra scan? Again?'_ she wanted to ask.

He did not wait for a reply. There was a tingling jolt. Her vision blurred before refocusing and the girl slumped back into her guardians' arms again, feeling drained. For a long moment Kagami held her quietly, outwardly patiently waiting for Minato's word. He stiffened when Minato pulled back.

"Well, how is it?"

Minato shook his head, brows furrowed in deep thought. "It's just as the doctors said when she was born – there's a large surplus of spiritual energy, although her chakra pool has come a long way in growing to accommodate all that excess... so I don't think she'll be overloading her chakra pathway system from now on, or at least the frequency of it will decrease and eventually stop," he stated, curt and analytical. "If she gets her physical energy up, she'll have a lot of chakra to tap into."

"So no complications, then?" Kagami asked.

Minato was unsure about what counted for 'complications' in a case as strange as this, the first of its kind ever recorded. "No, there shouldn't be," he reassured. "Honestly, I'm a lot more worried about you. I thought Hokage-sama was exaggerating when he said you weren't doing very well, but then you went and released such a powerful killing intent."

Kagami winced, now feeling lower than dirt. "I did suppress it... or at least I thought I suppressed enough of it. I'm sorry—I... I lost control of myself. It was very unbecoming of me," he admitted.

Then he rose to hist feet, his tired daughter snug in his arms. Thanking Minato, he made for the door but stopped in his tracks when he heard his blond junior say, "Let's keep trying our best, Kagami-san. I'm sure if you properly explain everything to Jiraiya-sensei, he'll understand."

Kagami was not so sure about that. He peered over his shoulder and gave the blond an apologetic smile. "Thank you for everything, Minato," he murmured. "But I'm sorry, this is as far as I can go."

To say that Minato was disappointed and frustrated was an understatement. But he held his tongue out of respect, for both Sakumo and Kagami. Yet as he bid farewell to the latter who took an early leave from the party with his children, he could not help but wish that the village was... different.

He thought of Kagami and the sacrifices the man had made for the good of the village and for his adorable saplings, of Mikoto and her friendship with Kushina that verged on sisterhood, of Obito and his determination to protect his friends and serve the common people. It was all too easy for others to judge those individuals for the reputation that their clan held in the war-torn past, and easier still to negate all the good that they had done with the argument that they were all 'mad'.

It was an old Senju belief that had seeped into the hearts of the citizens of Konoha through all the decades that said clan had held the power to rule, a stereotype at best and discrimination at worst. All the more reason to work hard to become Hokage and reform the system. Konoha was home to everyone, not just the Senju and their allies. Things needed to change, and Minato would change it.

Everyone had their bad days. Every clan had their crimes. If one looked closely at history as Minato had, they would know that the Uchiha were not any worse (nor better) than the Senju, or any other clan. It was only because of their optical powers that they were tarred with a such a brutal image. Whatever was not understood was feared, and Konoha understood very little about the Uchiha.

* * *

><p>Shinkai was the one who gave him the name of Tama. Nursing him back to health was hard, and despite their efforts, he walked with a limp after the cast came off. Not that any of them minded. They had not taken him in to catch mice or to play games, they had taken him in so he could live.<p>

Since Shinkai was the one who spent the most time taking care of him, cleaning him, training him and playing with him, Tama was most comfortable with her. The girl thought it was cute, they way he sidled up to her, pawed at her and rubbed his head on her when asking for her affections. It was amazing to her, how he never simply intruded in her personal space and demanded her attention.

She thought cats were supposed to be selfish. Perhaps Tama was just a proper gentleman of a cat?

They spent most of their days together. When she studied, he stayed by her side, looking over her materials and trying to make out what the strange shapes and symbols meant. When she ate, he ate with her, never making a mess for her to clean up. When she strolled in the sprawling backyard, he walked with her, following her every footstep. When she slept, he slept with her, curling up into a ball just as she tended to do. And when morning came, he woke her up with soft mewls and purrs.

For Shinkai, it had simply been abject despair in the face of the future that had pushed her to adopt Tama. The question of whether it was her despair or his always remained unanswered. In the grand scheme of things, they were in the same position. Or had been, until Tama gained a future with her.

But now the orange tabby that distracted her from _her_ future, from Kagami and Minato and Jiraiya and Sakumo, was carving a home in her heart for himself, and it was much larger than Shinkai had expected. She was beginning to doubt her ability to let things go when the time came for her to die.

Shisui ended up spending most of his free time with them. It was with his presence that they were allowed to go outside and play around the Uchiha Clan compound. Before long, the sight of two children and their tabby roaming the streets and lounging under the trees in the compound's park became common. They very quickly found out that Uchiha were weak towards children and cats, and children _with_ cats, and that the older the Uchiha, the more likely they were to give free food.

(The only person who disapproved of the fair trade between children who provided cuteness and adults who provided sweets and snacks was Kagami. Even then, he was not too difficult to sway.)

Shisui was beginning to receive his sibling's smiles – they were not aimed at him specifically, not yet, but they did tell him that she enjoyed his company. They were far and few in between, but he did not mind. Every single time her lips tugged upwards, it was enough to fill the void in his heart for many, many nights after that smile faded away. It was as if his mother was also smiling at him. He was all too happy to smile back so she knew he cared, to fill the silence with his ramblings so she knew she was not alone, to drag her around the village so she knew her home, to hug her and hold her hand and share everything he had with her so she knew she could do the same with him.

Shinkai was seriously doubting her ability to let things go when the time came for them all to die.

* * *

><p>Tensions have been brewing for years. The skirmishes between villages have finally borne its fruit, and now he would eat it whole. This was not the first bite of the new fruit. His missions had taken him into the unofficial conflicts before – now he was simply diving headfirst into the official one.<p>

War.

Again.

A tourniquet. A roll of bandages. A tube of iodine tablets. A pack of soldier pills. A roll of wires. A bundle of explosive tags. A bunch of smoke bombs. An array of very well kept shuriken and kunai. A small storage scroll for more weapons and supplies. His trusty _wakizashi,_ polished to perfection.

He methodically sorted his equipment out with a mechanical pace that could only be gained from decades of practice. Slipping into his standard issue black outfit and Konoha vest, he strapped the shuriken holster to his thigh and the supplies pouch to his belt, sliding his wakizashi into the belt's straps. Finally, Kagami tied down his pant legs with bandages, checking himself over one last time.

His dark eyes searched for his forehead protector but landed on the bed instead. A gentle caress, a soft murmur, the scent of wildflowers from their front garden all came back to him. He relished in both the comfort and the pain that they brought him in that moment. Too soon, they faded away.

Picking up his forehead protector from the desk, he gazed upon it and breathed deeply.

He had been here before, at the crossroads between knowing that he was home and safe, knowing that he soon had to fight to the death to keep others safe and at home, and knowing that he might not return to see his home safe again. He had spent most of his life drenched in blood, and though he had tried his best to not let it seep into his bones, it was still hard for him to reject the addiction that pulled him into the battlefields over and over again. That was what kept him tied down, was it not? He had an addiction. He could find no other explanation for why he had not yet retired into a less active, safer position like the rest of his original cohort. Or whatever still remained of them all.

A part of him wanted to stay, told him that he had given enough, had sacrificed enough. How many funerals had he attended? How many friends and comrades had he seen fall before his eyes? How many more until he decided that it was enough, and that he needed to be there for his children?

But that was exactly it. He needed to fight so his children could _be there, away from conflict,_ even if the price he paid for that was him not being there _with_ them in return. He needed to fight so that as few of his friends and comrades would fall in battle, as few funerals as possible needed to be held.

That was his addiction. He had not believed it when Danzo once said that he resembled the Second Hokage in that regard, but now when he was standing on the edge of war's cliff, he could believe it. But would his sense of duty be enough of an apology if he came back to his children in a body bag?

It was strange. He had never thought of such things until recently. Since then, he had been thinking too much of 'such things'... like a certain blond's favour.

Kagami was not sure what he was trying to achieve when he had asked Minato to perform a simple chakra scan on his daughter. He checked her regularly himself, and he was always monitoring her progress to ensure that her excess spiritual energy was not causing any damage or discomfort. He was not sure why he had needed a second opinion. Had he been trying to get someone to tell him that it was alright? Was he truly that insecure as a person? Did he have such little faith in himself?

All evidence pointed to a resounding 'YES'. It was getting worse and worse as time went on. No wonder Hiruzen had taken to asking him annoying questions ("Did you have a proper breakfast?) lately. Kagami would fix this problem he had, if only he knew how to, if only it was not so sweet. Because Shinkai looked at him but did not see him, heard him but did not pay attention to him and spoke with him but did not talk to him. Her behaviour was making him question everything he was.

Doubting yourself was par for the course as a veteran ninja. Questioning yourself was just suicidal.

Still... he needed to fight.

Quickly tying his forehead protector around his head, he took one last lingering look at the bedroom that used to be his refuge, that was now the reminder of everything he had lost. His dark eyes bled into crimson as he burned the scene into his memory, an eternal memento of a fleeting moment. That image, as well as the countless that he had taken of his children without them noticing, were what would sustain him. It was a typically Uchiha thing to do. No wonder they were so emotional.

Deactivating his Sharingan as he exited his room, he came upon Shisui, Shinkai and Tama in the living room, all of them quietly waiting for him. A little of his self-doubt melted away at the sight.

"Shisui, Shinkai," he warmly acknowledged, kneeling before them. "And Tama as well. You take care of yourselves, now. Behave, and listen to Akane-san." He firmly clasped Shisui's shoulders. "Do your best at the Academy and look after your youngers, little warrior. Just like Bishamon."

Shisui nodded at that, smiling bravely despite the unshed tears that gleamed in his onyx eyes.

Then taking Shinkai's hands in his, Kagami paused to find the courage to say the words that he had always hidden for fear of being rejected. It was now or never. "Shinkai," he finally said. "There are so many things that I want to say to you, but there's not much time left. I just want you to know..."

He gently pressed his lips to her forehead. "That whatever we are to you, you are precious to us."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** This chapter gave me +50 Satisfaction and -100 Energy.

Reviews are appreciated!ヽ(ﾟдﾟ; ≡ ;ﾟдﾟ)ﾉｼ


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